By Robyn Walters
Ah, my dear adult child. (Nearing 77 years, I can call most anyone ‘child’.) I’m writing this note about an agerelated topic: sex.
There you are, in the full bloom of life. Here I am, supposedly sedate but definitely not. Both of us think about sex, but it might be more on your mind than mine. Or we may think of it, relate to it, differently. You see, there are at least two aspects to sex: having sex (action) and being a certain sex (passive).
At your age, I imagine you spend more time thinking about the actionable meaning and hoping that it involves either undying love or variety, maybe of the bisexual kind. Enjoy, no matter what the Puritans and certain politicians say. For many of us, the bloom doesn’t last forever. Age can be, often becomes, a factor.
No, no, don’t feel sorry for this old lady. I still think of the “having sex” now and then, but my current circumstances stand in the way of that likelihood. So my interests turned, some years ago, to being a certain sex. It took me 63 years to fulfill my destiny as a member of the female sex. In that same year, I finally found a marriage I believe will last, one in which I have pledged fidelity. Thank goodness that for us having sex is not very important, since that seems to be our one incompatibility. Do my loins burn now and then? Oh, yes. Do I act on it when some hunk or some pretty woman shows some interest in little old me? No. Having sex in my reformed body will have to wait until the next reincarnation, which I hope will be a little more straightforward.
Do you ever think about the sex you were designated at birth, or has it always matched your gender? Life is more simple, more straightforward and more comfortable if sex and gender match. If they do not, child, be comforted that many of us have gone before you, and there are some old women who understand and can help.
But now, finish getting into that little black dress and go have some rollicking safe fun with your date tonight, be it a man or a woman.
I’ll leave the porch light on for you.
Robyn Walters is a transwoman who had her surgery 14 years ago on her 63rd birthday. Becoming a non-practicing bisexual was an unexpected part of her journey. She and her author husband live in Hawai’i.