By Jen Bonardi
I’m driving to Vermont, one of the snowiest states in the U.S., while listening to a podcast hosted by two intellectuals, Jace Rios and Bailey Merlin. That might sound dry but, in fact, it’s so riveting that I have to keep reminding myself to pay attention to the road. Jace and Bailey are what I consider neo-intellectuals: scholars who make their brilliant perspectives on a complex topic accessible to the masses, complete with giggling and occasional slang.
These cerebral goofballs are the creators of the podcast Bisexual Killjoy. Bailey reveals early on that she podcasts from inside a closet, but strictly literally. I can confirm this, as I watched her come out during her 2023 capstone project presentation on bi+ health. A week later, she graduated from Harvard Medical School’s inaugural Media, Medicine, and Health program, securing her second Master’s degree.
It’s evident that this is a season one episode from mid-2024; by season two, they are podcasting from the same room in Boston, Massachusetts. Jace received their Master’s degree in Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies from SUNY Albany in May of 2024 and moved to Bailey’s city after being accepted to Boston University’s Sociology doctoral program. The tell for season three will be Jace exuberantly introducing themself as “Jace!” instead of “Lynn!” as they have for the first two seasons.
When I interview them, their eagerness to nerd-out on the middle sexualities is palpable. “Bisexual Killjoy stands out in a sea of other queer voices because it’s about bi+ issues,” Bailey tells us. “Among bi+ podcasts, it’s scientifically rooted. We talk about poverty, intersectionality, health. For us, it’s about how bisexuality affects a person as a whole. Not just, ‘We cuff our jeans.’”
Jace harmonizes with this. “As a budding bisexual and sociologist, I took theory classes and my life started to make sense. [With Bisexual Killjoy] everyone can know those sociological terms now and have the same a-ha moments as I did.”
In listening to the first Bisexual Killjoy episode on my long drive north, I learned that their titular label refers to the bi+ person in the room who insists on busting harmful myths about bisexuality, even if it doesn’t win them any friends. Armed with this knowledge, I look forward to the top of every episode where they ask each other, “What was your Bisexual Killjoy moment this week?”
“That question started as a way to hook the listener and not jump right in with theory,” explains Jace. “It also reminds us that being a Bisexual Killjoy is not about the abstract. It keeps me and Bailey accountable in making the podcast practical for the audience, and shows them how we handle real situations.”
Covering both theory and practical application for a wide range of bisexuals is a tall order. Their process for creating a season starts with brainstorming subject matter based on what folks want to hear. But requests from the audience often yield the same topic: quashing insulting myths about bi+ people. The hosts are tasked with striking a balance between satisfying those listeners and giving them something new to consider.
“The issue is that on social media,” says Bailey, “we do a lot of educating and stigma-busting. We often respond to that with suggested reading.” She reveals her objective to go from 80% repeating herself to 20% repeating herself.
Another challenge crops up when Jace discovers that people can be defensive about their gender. It’s unclear how to maintain a safe space when there is pressure to get stuff “right” that you have no way of knowing. Climbing up icy hills in my car feels unsafe but it’s nothing compared to navigating certain conversations about gender and sexuality.
Bailey understands what I mean. “In some leftist spaces, folks police each other’s language. Unfortunately, there’s not enough grace there in learning.” Jace defines the Bisexual Killjoy ethos: “We describe this not as a safe space but a brave space. We’re committed to being curious about where it came from and providing resources to address it. We believe in people, not in isolated incidents.”
It sounds like Bisexual Killjoy is ready to take on controversial topics. Will they delve into the betrayals that bisexuals have historically faced, sometimes even from within our community? “Absolutely,” confirms Jace. “That is one of the biggest goals of this project. This is a space for everyone to articulate the pain and use new words to do what we need to heal.”
The interview is making me hungry for their third season, which they are working on now. Season one was Bailey and Jace in conversation; Season two was interviews with bi+ researchers. Jace remarks, “We did interviews because we don’t know everything. It allowed us to go deeper into the issues we discussed in the first season.” Bailey adds that season three will be a mix of the two formats, and the content theme is intersectionality.
Bailey is excited to tell me that they cast the net wide for audience members. “Our role is to educate queer people, queer organizations, your well-meaning mom,” she says. Later, she continues with the invitations: “[This podcast is] for people on any part of their bi+ journey, but also people who are not bi+. Let us educate your racist uncle!”
The two hosts fully expect their scrappy little podcast to result in big changes. “I hope we’re creating ripple effects!” says Jace. “In fairness to people who want to learn, it’s hard to find this information. Not everyone can get by a paywall of a journal or read theory.” They both assert that the podcast reaches listeners in a way that’s fun while allowing for introspective development.
Audience feedback has been ongoing and invigorating, spurring the duo to provide even more resources. In addition to the podcast, the Bisexual Killjoy team has led a class and spoken at multiple conferences. They write a bi-weekly Substack (blog) including an advice column, regularly educate people on Threads (social media), and find time to chime in on their Discord group of podcast fans. When I list all of their activities to them, they seem to have no idea how they are doing it all. They are suddenly reminded that they need help.
“We need folks to help for only a couple of hours a week to create content, among other things,” Bailey requests. Jace adds that they are also looking for Discord moderators, but they are open to any talents you bring to the table. While these are currently volunteer positions, they are working hard to eventually pay the folks who make Bisexual Killjoy happen, including themselves. Fundraising efforts this year will include offering tiered subscriptions with benefits, and looking for grants and awards.
My exit whizzes by in a blur and I decide to stop listening until I arrive at the ski lodge. In the interview, Jace advises, “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good. You can listen without giving it your full attention! Listen to us while cooking, playing games, riding the bus. We’ll say stuff to get your attention.” I can attest to that.
Boston, U.S.-based Jen Bonardi is a frequent BWQ contributor and loves all things bi+.
You can reach Bisexual Killjoy at bisexualkilljoy@gmail.com or follow them on Instagram @bisexualkilljoy.