A Story by Sarah Q. Parr
Hank is handy. He’s always ready, always willing, always able. He knows exactly what I need and delivers every time.
Hank has been with me for a few years now. He doesn’t seem to mind sharing; in fact, he’s selfless to a fault.
Hank soothes me when I’m stressed. He brings me up when I’m down and mellows me out when I’m too high. He’s good for a quick gallop or a long, gentle trot.
Hank lies right next to my bed. He’s eighteen inches long. He plugs into the wall. He has a “massage head” with only two settings: OMG and DEAR GOD YES HANK!
Hank is my trusty tried and true Hitachi Magic Wand.
One quick story about Hank.
I went on a business trip with Hank a year ago. Winding down with him at the end of each busy day of the conference was wonderful. On the third or fourth night, my (living, breathing) partner and I were on the phone.
“I brought Hank with me,” I said.
“I noticed he was gone from your bedside table,” my partner said. “How is he?”
“Oh, he’s doing very well.”
“Tell him I said hello.”
“You can tell him yourself,” I said, turning Hank on so his rumbles could be heard through the phone. “He’s right here.”
“Oh!” said my partner. “Hello there, Hank.”
My partner and I were on the phone quite a bit longer that night. And Hank joined in for the fun. He seemed happy to be there.