Much is Unknown Still: Parenting and Being Childfree Among Bi+ People
By Jessamyn Moxie
July’s release of the updated report on LGBTQ+ Parents from UCLA’s Williams Institute points to numerous ways bi+ cisgender women stand apart (Wilson & Bouton, 2024). Our understanding of the bi+ umbrella when it comes to parenting is limited primarily only to bisexual individuals, with much to be understood about pan, fluid, and other identities. We lack intersectional data that explores the nuances of how other identities such as socioeconomic class and gender presentation influence the experiences of bi+ parents or childfree individuals. Although I would argue that we also need more research on all bi+ individuals who are not parents, I use “childfree” in reference to those who identify with the label. “Childfree” can be a positive identity that individuals adopt in contrast to “childless” or deficit-framing (Rivera et al., 2024). Bi+ individuals who are (and plan to remain) childfree may be engaging in unique strategies to exercise their agency in the current political climate. At this point, we know more about bisexual parents than we do about bisexual childfree individuals.
Many LGBTQ+ individuals do live childfree—partly due to reduced opportunities to become parents among same-sex couples and experiences of stigma (Dorri & Russell, 2022; Widmer et al., 2024; Wilson & Bouton, 2024). And when the heteronormative pressures and norms related to sex and family structures are reduced, LGBTQ+ individuals may also choose not to parent (Riskind & Patterson, 2010). Yet bisexual cisgender women aren’t following this trend. In fact, bisexual cis women are parenting at similar rates to heterosexual cis women and men (about 30%) (Wilson & Bouton, 2024). In fact, bisexual cis women are the largest group of LGBTQ+ parents, at about 60% of all LGBTQ+ parents (Wilson & Bouton, 2024). There’s a lot we don’t know about the experiences among bi+ individuals who are childfree and those who parent.
Whether bi+ individuals want to be parents and for what reasons has mixed evidence. One nationally representative study reported similar rates of parenting desires and intentions between bisexual and heterosexual cis women, though bisexual cis women partnered with cis men had increased parenting desires compared to those partnered with cis women (Riskind & Tornello, 2017). The expanded group of bi+ parents have not been studied in isolation from other LGBTQ+ individuals. However, one study from Switzerland reported similar rates of desiring children between pansexual and bisexual individuals (Widmer et al., 2024). It may be notable that some pansexual, fluid, or queer individuals may also not identify as cisgender—which may influence their parenting desires (e.g. pregnancy may not feel compatible with their sexual and/or gender identity; Carpenter & Niesen, 2021).
On top of numerous stressors of parenting, we know that bi+ parents may face additional hardships. Overall, LGBTQ+ parents are more likely to be living in poverty (33%) than non-parents (21%) and cis heterosexual parents (21%) (Wilson & Bouton, 2024). Bisexual cis women have the highest disparity in living in poverty between those who are parenting (38%) and not (25%) (Wilson & Bouton, 2024). This is partly due to the high proportion of bisexual cis women parenting with single income households. Many bisexual cis women who are parents are single parents (44%)—more than lesbian (40%) and heterosexual women (29%) (Wilson & Bouton, 2024). Complicating this portrait is the fact that one study reported 85% of bi+ parents were in a relationship (Wilson & Bouton, 2024), though we do not know the extent to which partners assist in parenting, financial or childcare assistance, among others. Having a partner, specifically a cis man, can help bisexual cis women to have more positive experiences with healthcare providers (e.g. perinatal providers; Goldberg, 2017).
We don’t know about the percentages of childfree bi+ individuals who are in relationships or not, and the stressors of those different groups. However, we may look to Reddit for trends among those interested in being childfree (Rivera et al., 2024). Reddit hosts an online community (i.e. Subreddit) focused on being childfree, with 1.5 million members in the group (putting it in the top 1% of discussion boards on the site) (Reddit, 2024). Bisexual individuals in the group have multiple posts discussing strategies in avoiding partners assigned male at birth to avoid pregnancy. Recent additions to these types of posts include navigating increasing limitations on abortion access.
Sexual identity and parenting status/identity are just a piece of the overall picture—we are largely still missing research that examines how marginalization or privilege of other identities influences these experiences. For bisexual individuals with other marginalized identities, such as race/ethnicity or class, structural stigma can be stark. For example, Black bisexual cis women lose custody of their children at significantly higher rates than heterosexual cis women (Harp & Oser, 2016). Bi+ cis women may resist parenting imperatives related to motherhood faced by women by adopting a childfree identity (Blackstone & Stewart, 2016; McQuillan et al., 2008). Among those who include their identities in the r/childfree Subreddit, women were more represented in the group (Rivera et al., 2024). The identity of “childfree” may be more commonly adopted by individuals with privilege, such as bi+ individuals with higher levels of education.
Identities of both “parent” and “bisexual” are dynamic and we need research across the life course to examine the relationships between them. For those who did not birth a child, they may fight for visibility as a “legitimate” parent (Abelsohn et al., 2013). Upon becoming a parent, bisexual individuals may not find their bisexual identity as important (Manley & Ross, 2020). For those who are childfree and pushing against heteronormative scripts, we do not know how bi+ identities may be differentially preferred. In other words, do some identity labels (e.g. queer) connote more resistance to normativity and assist in relaying a childfree stance?
There is much left to explore in relation to bi+ parents and bi+ childfree individuals. We are only beginning to research the experiences among bisexual parents. Research on the experiences of pansexual and queer parents is still in its infancy, and bi+ childfree individuals have been nearly absent.
Jessamyn Moxie is an Associate Professor at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte in the Department of Epidemiology and Community Health.