Unintentional Mother Figure

Sep 1, 2024 | 2024 Fall - Child Free, Poetry

By Becca Downs

I’ve grown strong in a universe     dressed as a sharp-jawed man
confident in the art of targeted cruelty     and pretending to love me, just
to show me a boy tugging on my hem     to take me naked and whole
and asking for mommy     which sometimes means wife
mistaking my dress for hers     in our bedroom, I was a good girl
in headlights running off scarlet-chested     even as placid became his invitation to leave
when I’ve long dreamed of my own     future and family, father and
child, a half-me ultimately destroyed by my     husband, titles of ownership shredded with
razor blade waking, gut-punched     fallen leaves buried, now lifeless and
empty womb, the outline of an angel     under dormant pillow of ghost-white snow
clenching fist-full of fabric     until a new dress blossoms in spring

Becca Downs (she/they) is a writer, editor, and educator based in Denver, Colorado. She graduated from the Mile-High MFA program at Regis University and is the author of Acid Rain Epithalamium (Beyond the Veil Press, 2024).

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